Many of my friends tell me that I am a very calm parent. I have always shrugged it off; its not difficult to not yell and scream at my children. I have noticed other parents having difficulty not screaming at their children, but I have never been one of those people. No big deal.
I think I really believe and hear what they are saying now. If I were ever going to scream and/or lose it with my child, today would have been the day. It didn't happen. Her friend looks at me and says "you are so calm, my mother would be freaking out right now". I wasn't even tempted. There are times when the crime is also the punishment. This is one of those times. No need to yell, no need to make her feel worse. She feels bad. She gets it. She said to me, something like -I think when you come from a good family, like I do, then feeling as guilty as I do is punishment enough-. My goal isn't to make her feel bad, it's just to get her to think about possible consequences and err on the side of caution. And to know that I am here for her even when she isn't being the perfect young woman everyone expects her to be.
It's funny, my friends often say things about how perfect my two older girls are...I know they aren't perfect and I love them even more for it.