Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Last Night's Dream

It was night and I was standing outside a house, looking through a window at my sister, Julie, sitting at the kitchen table. She was on the phone, talking to our other sister, Michelle. And in the way that dreams are strange, I could also see Michelle. They were talking about me. According to their conversation, I had recently died. I was 21 years old.

I felt a pull. An energy bigger than myself was pulling me away from the window. I knew it was time to go.

I put my hand on the window and quietly whispered goodbye.

I turned around and I was pulled into the sky and everything went black.

I opened my eyes and I was looking down at my hands on a desk. There was a piece of paper in front of me and a pencil in my right hand. A female teacher at the front of the class said to write our names on our papers. My hand starting writing without my minds permission. It wrote the name Angelia, quickly, as though this hand had written this name thousands of times before. It then wrote an N....and as my mind took control of my hand, I turned the pencil over, erased the N, and wrote Cogar.

Was that a cool dream or what?!!

peace and love,

Monday, May 27, 2013

Sweet Nothings

I have an eleven mile, beautiful drive to work through the countryside. A field of cows, a field of sheep with a lone donkey, some mornings I can drive eight of those miles without seeing another car.

Last week they were working on the road. About half way to work, I had to stop with three cars and wait for the crew to let us pass. As I was sitting and waiting, my attention was drawn to the car in front of me. It was an old blue cadillac, big as a boat. The driver was an older man, wearing a cowboy hat, Junior Brown style.

distinct style
When the car came to a stop, I got a glimpse of a Walker hound when she sat up for a few seconds in the front seat. As we continued our drive in to town, the hound laid down and the man would turn his head toward her on the front seat and would speak to her and he was even singing to her at one point. It was very endearing and I couldn't stop smiling. When we got to the stop sign at the other end of my usual morning commute, and I saw him leaned over sweet talking his companion, it dawned on me that something may be wrong. I then had thoughts that he was talking her into holding on, that she was surely sick and he was taking her to the vet on the other side of town. So as he drove past the street that I work on, I continued to follow him, I had to know if he was stopping at the veterinarians office. And sure enough he does! I pull into the Shell station and I park so I can see through the bushes. I think to myself if he carries her into the office in his arms then it's bad, it's real bad. But maybe he's just coming for a shot, or some flea medicine, or...or....   Then he get's out of his car, he's wearing starched jeans and tucked in shirt with a belt and boots. He walks around the car and there is another car blocking my view, so I wait with bated breath for about twenty seconds. Then I see he has her on a leash and he leads her to a little patch of grass so she can tinkle. She is tail wagging happy. And why wouldn't she be when she has a handsome fella to sing to her on the way to the doggie doctor?

With my morning stalking complete, I put the car back on the road and continued on to work.

Peace and Love,

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Be Ready

Myself has been slowly slipping away over the past month. I can't put my finger on exactly when it started moving away from me, only that the past two weeks it has been very apparent that I am no where nearby.

I signed up for a retreat this morning. It's a TM retreat NW of San Antonio at the end of the month. I need a tune up. I am very excited about it and can't wait to share with you my experiences and I hope to have myself back by that time.

One of the benefits of TM is learning the difference between your mind and your spirit. When I was younger, I thought my mind was my spirit. Boy, was I dumb. Ha, I ain't like that no more. (one of my favorite Bette Midler songs). It's very beneficial to me when my mind starts talking crazy stupid noisy meaningless garbage to be able to 1) know those thoughts are simply neurons and electrical impulses 2) they are not me, they are not my spirit and best of all 3) I can quiet the thoughts and plug in to my spirit. 

Have you ever heard anyone call the television an idiot box? Truth right there. But sometimes I feel like my mind is an idiot box. It just goes round and round and comes up with nothing but noise. Just noise.

I've started watching an HBO Series called The Big C - hereafter. I watched the season premiere last night and it had so much truth in it that I cried a little bit. I look forward to watching more. Truth is good. Why is it sometimes others can voice our truth better than we can? I mean, I felt those same things, but wasn't able to verbalize it or even write it here in my safe, truth zone. Isn't it interesting that someone else could be holding your truth right now and they and you don't even know it. Not until you hear it in their dialogue, or hear it in their music, or see it in their art, or see it in their eyes. And when you see it, don't deny it. See it for the truth it is and claim it if it is yours. Be ready.

Peace and Love,