Wednesday, January 16, 2013

No More Buts and Likes

I think I've figured it out. Enough to put into words.
People assume/feel/think I'm doing the adoption for show.
Just to honor the man who has been my dad since I was 18 months old.

But that's not so.



If I wanted to just honor him, I could've changed my name for a few bucks and a lot less hassle.

My first memories are of a mysterious dad who lived far away, and a distant step dad with a temper. I had five older siblings, and most of them would go visit the mystery man and I would stay home and play with my little brother. When I was small I thought it was cool that we had different names because none of my friends had a brady bunch family.

When I was 14, things changed for two reasons. The first is that I spent two weeks with the mystery man and got a peek of what it would really be like if I lived with him. It wasn't the green grass I had dreamed of as a child. The second is my step dad had a heart attack. This knocked him off the A-train long enough for him to slow down and for me to learn that he did have soft spots.


Of course, then came that age where my knowledge grew exponentially and surpassed all parents on the planet everywhere. And when my superior knowledge left me and I settled back down to earth, I realized I had two of the greatest parents and the grass was pretty green on our side of the fence. It's funny how that happens.

I was in the middle, not really belonging to either Surname. Belonging solely to my mother. It's what made my maternal lineage so important to me. Maureen Butler, Kathleen Norris, Margaret O'Meara, Bridget O'Shea, Mary Butler. These are the women I came from.

Yes, my step dad has been like a father to me my entire life. BUT..

Now he is my father. I no longer have to qualify the Step with a But and a like.

I've grown up, he's grown up, my mom's grown up.
We're not perfect, but the love is unconditional.
And isn't that how its supposed to be between parents and children?

This Final Judgment of Adoption creates a relationship between the adoptee and Petitioner and all relatives of Petitioner that would have existed if the adoptee was a blood descendant of the Petitioner, born within wedlock, entitled to all rights and privileges thereof, and subject to all obligations of a child being born to Petitioner.

The adult adoptee shall hereafter be known as: Susan Jean Cogar-Daniels

1 comment:

prosanjit kumer said...
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