Friday, February 17, 2012

Ya Miss Me?

I'm sorry its been so long since my last post. I've been asked to make an appearance; and I've had a few things jumbling around my head, so why not?

First, I am doing rather well. All the docs say I am ahead of the curve :)  Which is a delight because I've always been quite average; a B/C student, quite average looks, etc. So there you go.

So now the dust has settled, I no longer feel like I am in the midst of a battle for my life. The war continues, but there is a sweet calm for now. I am managing these silly looking pouches attached to my lopsided stomach twenty-four hours a day, I take 6-8 pills a day, I stay hydrated, I've started exercising, and now I am quite bored to death. (probably shouldn't put it quite like that).

I have swept the same floors every day, washing the same clothes, the same dishes, the same toilets, I am so over it. I don't know how retired people do it. So this week, to be quite honest, I have had a difficult time getting out of bed. What's the point, really.  And what an awful way to feel when I've been given a second chance at life. I tell myself that it is part of the cycle of my healing. I know it is just a phase and I will soon pass into another one.

I talked to my place of employment yesterday about my return to work. I would like to start part time in March and work my way up to full time by April. They are creating somewhat of a new position for me, actually they suggested exactly what I thought they would; they have many outstanding in-house projects that have not gotten finished due to lack of time. Things like new job descriptions, job evaluations, writing new policies, cost analysis, etc. etc. I am the worst about starting a project and not finishing it. I have one curtain panel over my dining window and have not started the second. I painted 3/4ths of the dining room. I sanded one drawer panel in the kitchen. I started tearing down the wall border in my bathroom. You get the idea. So it looks like I will be growing as a person over the next few years as I learn to start AND finish a project. Maybe it will be easier as I will be getting paid for it?

Peace and Love,
susan

1 comment:

Delana said...

Susan, It's so good to see you here! I've thought about you so often. Boredom is good. You're healing...in a more than average sort of way. But we know you're not the average bear. You have lots of healing thoughts traversing the ocean and half a continent. Bisous