Tuesday, December 28, 2010
When my husband was told he had a brain tumor this month, I can honestly say I did not know what to expect. I could not see any further into our future than two days, at most. I took him to doctors, had many tests done and spent most of my time in a bubble. My bubble consisted of my husband and myself. I was tuned in to every breath he was taking. I would say for the past 21 days I have been eating, breathing, sleeping someone else's life. My husband's life. I know I could not feel his exact feelings, nor his pain. But his pain translated into a pain all my own; a constant state of nausea, shallow breaths, and headaches. I have to remind myself this is not about me. My head knows it is not about me, that D. is going through this, not me. But my body feels otherwise.