it's been almost a full year.
I cried for the first time.
It came at me out of nowhere.
After work, clothes shed, I open my drawer of nighties.
there is a beautiful lavender folded neatly on the left.
I don't think about anything, I simply grab it and close the drawer.
I pull it over my head and for a moment I am standing in her bedroom
the scent is overwhelming
the only word i can use to describe the scent is clean. it's not flowery, it's not chemical, it's just her.
And it knocked me on my ass
i fell back onto the edge of the bed
pulled the nightie up to cover my face and breathe her in
and i knew she was in the room with me
while i cried.