Truth

I'm reading a book my friend, Chris, penned. He has many truths to share. We've had similar thoughts about different things and some of his truths remind me of a quote I used to keep tacked on my wall at work. The first time I read this, I was struck by its Truth.

Many times I would shrink so other people would not feel insecure around me. It still takes practice to beat this old habit.

This was written by Marianne Williamson.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Old Friends

Ella Fitzgerald is crooning the Jailhouse Blues while I sit at my desk, looking out the window and seeing the most beautiful blue sky and the autumn leaves clinging to the trees in the wind. It is a glorious day. I received a text this morning from my oldest daughter telling me so. She is right.

I got an eight page autobiography today from an old friend. We've recently connected again and I have read and reread this personal account of his life about four times now. I learn something new each time I read it. I think back to when we knew one another and how we went our separate ways and wonder at the universe and what we can afford to one another at this time in our lives. He seems to have done SO MUCH in his life. I can sum up the 90's for myself in one sentence. I attached my life to someone when I was 19 and it is his course that I have followed. Someone who had lived a lifetime already by the time I came along. But these are old feelings I have already put to bed...I can say them and not feel the angst I did five years ago.

I'm at a point in my life where I am consciously surrounding myself with people I actually want to be in my life. This is not something that was important to me in my 20's and even well into my 30's. It is important to me now. I want people who encourage me to be better, bigger, more than; just by being these things themselves. I want to be with people who are always learning and from whom I can learn.

My old friend fits this bill. I remember the quirky kid he was and even then I knew he made my world bigger. I am sorry for not being able to appreciate him more as my teenager self.